In the past few months, I went on 3 or 4 dates, and I am planning to go on a few more (things are in pipeline). One of the problems of being in Patna is that I need to plan and travel to these metro cities to attend a date no one wanna come to Patna which is unfair (lol). And as I have been giving too much attention to details very recently, I thought I was on a perfect date in terms of ambience. Also, I find it strange that just because I am from tech and building a company doesn't mean I can’t be romantic. Of course, my romance would be thought of from the first principle (lol), it might not be in loud music but rather in silence, not in eating out but rather cooking at home, and I will always doubt my romance so I could intact the utility of doubt and some truth of my romance. Wait what? Why would I doubt my romance? What is the utility of doubt? What is truth? And if I question what is truth, I question everything, no? And I can't get an answer to such a topic without an essay. I am trying to understand the truth, let’s see - how successful I can be?
Let’s get started with a dating story…
I was sitting in front of her on a chair, leaning towards placing my unfolded hands on a wooden yellow table placed in the middle, making sure there is a physical gap between us. There were water bottles, one black coffee glass cup, one cold coffee with ice, a few tissue papers, spoons, and a flower pot, adjusted in a way that seems like the staff of this cafe follow the same checklist every day. There is also a book titled Republic by Plato opened on both sides on page no 232 with an open caped pen in the middle.
I could hear the sound of others around me, but I avoided diluting my attention because I wanted to focus on just her. Even at my highest concentration, I could see the light reflecting the glass of the window and rays coming inside with slight path diversion I found myself talking to her, looking into her dark eyes. Every 5 seconds we both were looking away from each other eyes to make sure there was no awkward moment that could burst into laughter/smile.
Since I am not very good at the first conversation with someone, I picked the book, even though I wanted to throw that book, and wanted to tell her, in that moment, I could count her heartbeats, I could sense her excitement of sitting together at a distance of fewer than two feet, I could sense her every other emotion, I wanted to tell her she is the most beautiful girl in the world, however, I controlled all my emotions and asked her, looking in the pages (232) of the book, do you know in this book Plato talked about why there should be a mandatory rule in the state that men must not sleep with another woman coming from the womb of the same women and that women will be termed as a sister? And her answer after taking a few seconds I did not, and also raised a counter question, what if someone must have told the same to Plato? And I instantly agreed with her because neither of us can validate. To make the conversation interesting, I told her how Plato explained the importance of approaching marriage from a utility point of view which in today's world we all have forgotten completely. She expressed her excitement and said, I think this is a good time for us as a society to start thinking about marriage from a utility point of view. And this might improve the NPS and at that moment I couldn’t prevent my proud smile - getting a sense that she had read my essay!
At that moment, suddenly I felt I was sweating, and I try controlling that sweating by taking a few sips of water, but it kept increasing I call the staff and told him why have you kept AC off, and he politely told me Sir - AC is up and running, I was getting impatient, I again instructed him to reduce the temperature, the staff was still polite and told me, Sir, it is 24 degree, I looked towards her, she was also not sure why was I sweating in the very next moment, I found myself on my bed, and in the very instant I realised there is a power cut (which has been frequent in Patna) and AC was off and hence I was sweating. This means I was dreaming. I picked up my mobile to check the time and realised it was around 4:30 AM (morning). At this point, you need to consider one important fact: I have changed the story, the story (a common story of my age humans) was different that I can’t write (lol), and I am blushing.
But the fact that every detail of my dream was exactly to my reality that I consider a truth. In the past, I have dreamed but never thought about the very basics of truth and reality: If my dream can persuade me that I was in wakefulness, how can I not persuade by the fact that my wakefulness is my dream? Because in my dream, there was no certain indication by which I may clearly distinguish wakefulness from sleep, and hence I can be persuaded that these fingers hitting alphabets highlighted by a white chemical represented on this plastic board of the thoughts originated in my mind, on this Google doc, on wood table, along with water bottles, black coffee glass, reflecting light that is through conversion of electric energy into light energy (continuous flow of electrons into illumination), in this cafe, is not the dreaming state? In fact, in whatever place you are reading these lines, can you persuade yourself that everything that you are seeing, doing, observing, and experiencing is in wakefulness and not in a dreaming state?
You see at this point there is no reason to doubt that I am not in my dream and everything that I am seeing is imaginary, and if this is the case what should I call the truth? And this brings the very fabric of our world whether there is anything called truth and hence what is truth in the first place?? Do you have that answer, because I don’t? :)
And as soon as I question what is truth there are thousands of questions strike my mind, what is everything - body, gender, man, woman, boy, girl, human, and I find myself in this unending loop of questions that I can’t put my head around, you see I lack understanding, sorry my mind lacks understanding. And hence I have no shame in saying that my mind is not capable to understand and comprehend all these. And therefore, to give you all a signal that I understand, I will not question this more and accept this as truth (Beautiful). I am sure, now you can define the truth, can you?
Okay, let me try defining the truth: It is the persuasion of someone or self that nothing must be advanced of which there is not a certain demonstration and our mind is not capable of understanding and to give the impression that we understand we give the acceptance as perfectly certain and evident rather than in refuting the true (WoW!). Don’t worry, I have explained this with an example below. Meanwhile, If you have not jumped out of your place after reading this, you have not understood the meaning of truth (lol). This is not all, as our knowledge is the truth of someone (what percentage of the human species question everything - the number would be almost zero) and every single time, that we do almost every time, we accept that as a truth we are making a grave mistake. And this can be a good scale to measure the enlightenment of society and ecosystems. If in a society and ecosystem, there is just one narrative running around and everyone is blindly following that without any question, a clear indication that the society and ecosystem lack the mind power and hence are not capable of understanding. And give the impression to the members of society and ecosystems that they understand will give the acceptance as perfectly certain and evident rather than refuting the truth. :)
Let’s take one example of Geometry, Euclidean gave us the theorem: the sum of angels inside a triangle is 180. And we all have followed the same. But do you know the sum of angels inside a triangle above the earth's surface, in space, is 180.00016 (I can’t recall the exact number)? And all space companies consider 180.00016 rather than 180. In this case, Euclidean persuaded us that nothing must be advanced of which there is not a certain demonstration and our mind is not capable of understanding and to give the impression that we understand we give the acceptance as perfectly certain and evident and considered that as truth. However, the humans whose mind is capable of understanding, for them 180 is not the truth for them 180.00016 is the truth. And hence there is nothing absolute in our world.
Even after knowing this, we have no other option apart from considering the current timeline as our truth. Now, if you can recall my dreaming where I was persuaded in my dream as wakefulness because there was no certain indication by which I may clearly distinguish wakefulness from sleep that certain indication was nothing but absence/lack of doubt. So can we say the utility of doubt separates truth from imagination? In fact, can we even go further and say doubt is the only truth or doubt is one of the key fabrics of the truth in our world? I let you decide. But what I know for sure is that after reading this you must doubt. :)
And what I am going to write is a bit of contrast with the topic pov, but I am still going to write.
In our society and ecosystem, people expect premium just because they have aged or heard something from someone, or behaved the way being treated in the past. I don’t know about others but it is very difficult for me to give someone a premium just because they have aged or have a different gender. I am in the stage of my life where a delay of one day, one week, or even one month will not affect what we want to build in 20 years. The bottom line is the stories that you have heard, the stuff that you have read, and the truth that you perceive may not necessarily be the truth, especially if there is no doubt formation in your mind.
So now you know why I will always doubt my romance because I can’t think of my romance as imaginary and to keep it as near as truth - I must doubt my romance. :)
This is a wrap of this essay. I hope after reading my essay you have uncountable doubts. :)
If you find this essay doubtful, share this doubtful essay with your network. I will see you all the next week :)
PS: The part of this essay is inspired by the brilliant book: Meditation on First Philosophy by Rene Descartes